BLOGGY STYLE

How to Break Free from the Stuck Feeling: Navigating Overwhelm, Self-Doubt, and Unsolicited Opinions

Feeling stuck is something we all experience at some point. You’re faced with endless options, so many directions to choose from, and instead of making a decision, you freeze. You do nothing. It’s paralyzing, but it’s also completely normal—especially in today’s world, where everything is accessible at the click of a button.

We’re constantly bombarded by choices, trends, and opinions, yet we’re rarely taught how to navigate it all. Trends rise and fall, but sometimes it feels like nothing truly meaningful ever changes. Instead of finding joy in the process, we prioritize productivity and define ourselves by what we can monetize. If something doesn’t “look” productive or profitable, it feels like it’s not worth doing.

But here’s the kicker: in the midst of trying to find our identity, we often end up contradicting ourselves. I see it all the time—people craving a certain lifestyle or feeling, only to see someone else living it and immediately projecting insecurity or judgment. It’s like they can’t recognize or accept their own desires, so they externalize them instead.

The Fear of Judgment

Changing your interests or style should feel freeing, but instead, it’s become another source of pressure. Everyone has an opinion, and that fear of judgment can push you into hiding. You want to express yourself authentically, but how do you do that when every move feels scrutinized?

It all circles back to the same question: how do we navigate this in a healthy way? How do we stay grounded and maintain a sense of control over our identities? And more importantly, how do we quiet the self-doubt that asks, Am I being true to myself, or am I just pretending?

This cycle of overthinking and self-doubt is exhausting. It’s like that old saying, “Youth is wasted on the young.” We find ourselves looking back and thinking, If only I had done this when I was 25. But guess what? You can do it now. Who’s stopping you? Most of the time, it’s just you.

Starting Over: The Hard Truth

Starting over or making a change is uncomfortable. It’s hard. Your inner voice—the one that doubts, criticizes, and second-guesses—can easily get the best of you. I’ve been there.

In fact, I spent the last six months getting double-certified through DMI (Digital Marketing Institute). I knew the aspects I wanted to focus on and decided to dive into Instagram, but I carried this cloud of embarrassment over my head. And of course, the critics came out of the woodwork.

A guy I went to college with told me my style guides were awful. An old “friend” sent me a puke emoji on a picture I posted of my legs in black tights. And don’t get me started on the body-shaming and character attacks I endured back in 2010 during one of my lowest points.

But here’s what I’ve learned: consider the source. The guy criticizing my style guides? He’s irrelevant. The puke emoji? Thanks for the engagement—also, I made money from the tights I was wearing. And the anonymous attacks? I know who was behind them, but I’ve chosen to move forward.

Always Consider the Source

When you find yourself doubting your choices or hesitating to put yourself out there, stop and ask: What do these people really know? Nine times out of ten, the answer is nothing.

Here’s the thing—I’ve always loved collaging and fashion. Creating style guides and posting them online isn’t the end of the world. In fact, it’s something I genuinely enjoy. So why let someone else’s uninformed opinion hold me back?

The truth is, everyone has an opinion. I’ll admit, I’ve had my fair share of opinions too. But I’ve come to realize that people who can’t validate others often struggle to validate themselves. Their criticism is more about their own insecurities than it is about you.

Final Thoughts

Feeling stuck, doubting yourself, or fearing judgment are all natural parts of life. But you don’t have to let them define you. Embrace what you love, take risks, and don’t let other people’s opinions hold you back. At the end of the day, you’re the one living your life—so make it one you’re proud of.

I tried to make this into a VLOG the other day but I was too ADHD & kept forgetting I was filming, so I dumbed it down to 3min on my tiktok.

Coming Into Your Own: Style, Confidence, & the Art of Getting Out of Your Own Way

What sets people apart from one another? It’s not a designer bag, or the cost of their jeans. Or their salary for that matter. It’s the energy held, the way you carry yourself & the confidence to truly own it all. But, confidence doesn’t exactly arrive in an Amazon bag on your doorstep. You have to dig for it, like finding a vintage leather jacket in a thrift store packed with questionable polyester. I’m going to use a bunch of metaphors here, because this is my style blog. Basically you have to put in the work.

For years, my entire life really, I lived in a strange duality: I desperately wanted to fade into the background while simultaneously craving everyone’s undivided attention (a true Aquarius paradox). TURNS OUT - this fucked me up. There’s no moving forward with this mindset. I was stuck in a standstill, & it was MY FAULT.  Perhaps it was the interactions of biological, psychological, & social factors. Or maybe it was my self-induced pity party. Either way, the only common denominator that typically made me feel at ease was my “sense of style”. I knew I had CUTE CLOTHES, & I knew other people knew I had CUTE CLOTHES. (This was before my ayahuasca journey - JK).

There’s a power in putting on something that makes you stand a little taller. Something that says “yes, I’m here, & yes you can look”. An act of dressing yourself is a rebellion against all the noise telling you to play small. Though, many will silently, or verbally to your face, judge you. There were times I’d put on some outfit & people would ask why I’m “all dressed up” (literally this happened multiple times). The outfits weren’t even that “out there”. At the time, it made me feel small, & stupid. Why should I feel embarrassed.

So, here’s my secret: confidence doesn’t just show up one day, fully formed. It’s built, one choice at a time. It’s wearing that bold lipstick even though your inner critic whispers, “who do you think you are?”. It’s putting on the dress that makes you feel like a main character instead of a background extra. It’s learning to look in the mirror & say, “OK, she’s got something”. Like mental health, you need to wield your identity with your prescriptions.

Finding your style & finding your confidence go hand in hand. It’s about unapologetically embracing who you are & translating that into what you wear. Sure, there will be missteps (I had a “forever in cardigans” phase), but those are just part of the process. Like any great outfit, confidence is about the fit—and when you find it, nothing feels better. 

So, here’s your permission slip: Stop trying to blend in while secretly hoping to stand out. Own your quirks, your taste, your boldness. Wear the statement coat. BE the statement coat. And if anyone raises an eyebrow - that’s just confirmation you’re doing it right.

(DISCLAIMER - buying nice jeans does not cure depression, please seek help for that, it’s very treatable & you are not alone.)

The Lunar Return: How the Cold Moon Inspires Personal Style

As the last full moon of the year, the Cold Moon (or Lunar Return) holds a unique energy (like all of us), marking a time of reflection, renewal, & intention setting. It’s the perfect celestial event to pause, look inward, and align your personal style with the FRESH START ahead. Just as the moon’s glow illuminates the night sky, this is your cue to step into your light and let your wardrobe mirror your inner transformation.

What Is the Cold Moon?

The Cold Moon—named for the long, chilly nights of December (although I sleep with my window open)—symbolizes the end of one cycle & the preparation for a new one. It’s often associated with introspection, self-expression, and embracing authenticity. Whether you’re into astrology or simply love a fresh perspective, this lunar phase offers a chance to evaluate how your outer self (your style) represents your inner journey.

Style Reflections Under the Cold Moon

Just as the moon shifts phases, your style evolves too. Take this time to ask yourself:

  • Does my wardrobe reflect who I am today? 

  • What pieces make me feel confident, radiant, & aligned? 

  • Are there items I’m holding onto that no longer serve me? (If there are items in your closet you’re looking to donate - now is the time!)

Lunar Style: Harnessing the Cold Moon’s Energy

  1. Illuminate w/ Shimmer Shimmy Sham: Channel the moon’s glow with metallics, sequins, or satin pieces that make you shine. Whether it’s something for NYE or subtle accessories, you can let your wardrobe reflect the lunar light.

  2. Ground with Neutrals: Balance celestial energy with cozy, grounding neutrals. Think long wool coats, oversized knits, & tailored trousers in shades of ivory, taupe, and gray—perfect for the winter season. Because onions have layers.

  3. Reflect & Release: Just as the moon invites reflection, use this time to purge your closet of items that don’t align with your current energy. Let go of anything that feels outdated or doesn’t bring joy to make room for intentional new pieces. Or just to feel accomplished about cleaning your closet.

  4. Embrace Cyclical Trends: Like the moon’s cycles, fashion trends often come full circle. Embrace vintage or thrifted items, breathing new life into timeless styles while staying sustainable. This is my therapy.

  5. Set Intentions with Accessories: Use accessories as a form of intention-setting. Whether it’s a ring to remind you of your goals or a structured vintage handbag symbolizing balance & stability, every piece can carry meaning.

The Cold Moon reminds us that change is constant, & our personal style is a reflection of our growth. Just as you set intentions for the new year, think of your wardrobe as a vision board for the person you want to become. Let the moon’s light guide you toward a wardrobe that feels authentic & inspired. AND always remember to be unapologetically you. (Also I’m not an astrologist, I just like it).

Also I made some NYE style guides if you’re looking for something jazzy. Click the guides for more options & inspo!

Listen— I am a lot of things. Completely sane? Not really. Super cool? Wrong again. I’ve never fully felt like I’ve belonged anywhere. I’ve often been the target of the “joke” & learned to accept it. A few years back I just fully stopped caring about what people think. You can’t control other people’s opinions of you, and if it’s out of your control then it’s not worth a second thought. Obviously, with that being said, it’s not like I’ve trained myself to be completely deprived of emotion (I am a woman after all - I have a conscious). But also, like, IDC. So that’s why I’m starting a Style Blog at 36 years old with no following & a slew of silent knives pointed at my back.    

The Beginning of My Style Story: A Love Affair with Fashion

Unconsciously trying to find a niche can be maddening. I’ve tried to fit in & mold myself in places I was never welcome. I tried so hard to be friends with girls that wanted nothing to do with me in high school, I tried to be a hipster in college, I tried to be an alcoholic in my twenties. None of this worked out for me. Like, trying to seem like an intellectual by learning how to knit - wasn’t my calling. Pretending to be into Dave Matthews Band - cringe. There is always one thing that stuck with me through my decades-long walkabout - my love for fashion. There’s a magic to fashion—an unspoken language that communicates who we are without saying a single word. For as long as I can remember, I’ve been captivated by that magic. Style, for me, isn’t just about clothes. It’s an extension of self-expression, a way to haul around pieces of your personality on your back.                                    

I can’t lie now & say that I was a an instant trendsetter. All I did for most of my life was follow trends. Fast-fashion trends. Urban Outfitters, American Apparel, H&M, etc.. I constantly found myself having this mass amount of clothing but “nothing to wear”. I was the only one that saw myself this way because people would tell me I was just so stylish. But it’s because I’d be wearing trends - I’d feel good in the clothes for a day but then they’d rot in my closet because it became obsolete. I’d want something new. Been there done that.

I’d spend hours lurking on TikTok, lowering my vibration & sinking deeper in the void (profound), too embarrassed to post anything, etc.. I learned a lot on that app - including the term “capsule wardrobe”. It was like my third eye opened. It took me years to figure out that investing in one piece rather than spending that same amount of money on 12 things made me appreciate it more. I’m talking like 32 years old. But at this same time I wasn’t comfortable in my own body because I was having back to back kids and discovering a thyroid problem. So, I was still working out kinks while also having daily menty B’s because of children & hormones.

So, to ME, style isn’t just about following trends or owning designer labels. To me, it’s about creating a wardrobe that feels authentic. Over the years, I’ve fallen in love with the art of balancing high and low—thrifted treasures paired with timeless, higher-quality pieces. A bold print, a statement bag, or even a good white tee styled just right has the power to transform not just your outfit but your mood. It’s about the mood. It’s about how it makes you feel. Don’t ruin the mood.

I’ve learned that style is personal, but it’s also universal. It connects us. It’s why I started this “journey”—sharing my favorite brands, styling tips, and outfit ideas in hopes of inspiring others to embrace their own unique fashion stories. That’s really what I want to do, help others. I want people to feel comfortable, as I was never made to feel comfortable for the majority of my life. It’s an awful feeling.

That’s where I’ll leave this for now because I’m not trying to write a novel.